Couples and Money - how to have the talk without it turning into a fight

Love and money can be tricky subjects on their own.  When combined, they can be a powder keg ready to ignite at any time.

So often individuals have friends that are very similar to them financially yet, will attract a spouse that's the polar opposite.  Couples with both individuals defaulting to "savers" are fine - they are well on their way to financial freedom and likely will avoid divorce because of a money fight.  But for those in a relationship with a spender and a saver, or worse, two spenders, conversations about cash-flow can turn into a full on fight.

To avoid further frustration, shame, guilt and avoidance, couples need direction when having conversations about their household finances.  It doesn't have to turn into an argument with some simple guidelines.

The following is a process that will help you have a successful money conversation with your spouse and continue to keep the dialogue open:

• Step one:  What are our goals?
• Step two:  What are our needs vs. wants?
• Step three:  Where are we now?
• Step four:  How are we going to get to our goals?
• Step five:  Make changes - what are we going to do first?
• Step six:  Take action and get help

The full explanation and process can be found in my book, A Canadian's Guide to Money-Smart Living, published by the Chartered Professional Accountants of Canada.  You can order a copy for $9.99 or an instant download for $3.99 here.

Even starting the money talk can be overwhelming for some couples.  If you find yourself in this situation, it's time to bring in some outside help.  A Certified Financial Planner will walk you through uncomfortable conversations, set life goals and help you design a plan that works for both you and your spouse.

Check out this article from the Financial Planning Standards Council - Modern families have one thing in common: they need a plan.

And if you're ready to check out a qualified planner, visit the FPSC's Find A Planner tool to locate a CFP in your area.

Women most likely to lose sleep over money worries - FPSC Study

According to a new national study conducted on behalf of the Financial Planning Standards Council (FPSC), women are significantly more likely than men to lose sleep over financial worries. While the study found that 42 per cent of Canadians (excluding Quebecers) rank money as their greatest stress, 51 per cent of women, versus 40 per cent of men, are more likely to stay awake at night mulling over their financial woes.

 

Health Canada places long-term stress on issues such as financial problems as a major contributor to adverse health complications. These can range from heart disease to mental health issues. Stress is also a risk factor in alcohol and substance abuse, as well as weight loss and gain. Stress has even been identified as a possible risk factor in Alzheimer’s disease.

According to financial author Kelley Keehn, there’s good reason to believe women are bearing the greater share of these health burdens. Women, she explains, have begun to take the lead in managing household finances.

“Although women have always controlled aspects of family finances, they are forefront more than ever before,” she says. “Women are also earning more, holding an increasing share of jobs and living longer.” (According to research commissioned by Toronto-Dominion Bank, widowed baby boomers outlive their spouses by an average of 16 years.)

Read the full article here: http://www.financialplanningforcanadians.ca/financial-planning/women-most-likely-to-lose-sleep-over-money-worries

According to a new national study conducted on behalf of the Financial Planning Standards Council (FPSC), women are significantly more likely than men to lose sleep over financial worries. While the study found that 42 per cent of Canadians (excluding Quebecers) rank money as their greatest stress, 51 per cent of women, versus 40 per cent of men, are more likely to stay awake at night mulling over their financial woes.
Health Canada places long-term stress on issues such as financial problems as a major contributor to adverse health complications. These can range from heart disease to mental health issues. Stress is also a risk factor in alcohol and substance abuse, as well as weight loss and gain. Stress has even been identified as a possible risk factor in Alzheimer’s disease.
According to financial author Kelley Keehn, there’s good reason to believe women are bearing the greater share of these health burdens. Women, she explains, have begun to take the lead in managing household finances.
“Although women have always controlled aspects of family finances, they are forefront more than ever before,” she says. “Women are also earning more, holding an increasing share of jobs and living longer.” (According to research commissioned by Toronto-Dominion Bank, widowed baby boomers outlive their spouses by an average of 16 years.)
- See more at: http://www.financialplanningforcanadians.ca/financial-planning/women-most-likely-to-lose-sleep-over-money-worries#sthash.is5MM6tH.dpuf

According to a new national study conducted on behalf of the Financial Planning Standards Council (FPSC), women are significantly more likely than men to lose sleep over financial worries. While the study found that 42 per cent of Canadians (excluding Quebecers) rank money as their greatest stress, 51 per cent of women, versus 40 per cent of men, are more likely to stay awake at night mulling over their financial woes.
Health Canada places long-term stress on issues such as financial problems as a major contributor to adverse health complications. These can range from heart disease to mental health issues. Stress is also a risk factor in alcohol and substance abuse, as well as weight loss and gain. Stress has even been identified as a possible risk factor in Alzheimer’s disease.
According to financial author Kelley Keehn, there’s good reason to believe women are bearing the greater share of these health burdens. Women, she explains, have begun to take the lead in managing household finances.
“Although women have always controlled aspects of family finances, they are forefront more than ever before,” she says. “Women are also earning more, holding an increasing share of jobs and living longer.” (According to research commissioned by Toronto-Dominion Bank, widowed baby boomers outlive their spouses by an average of 16 years.)
- See more at: http://www.financialplanningforcanadians.ca/financial-planning/women-most-likely-to-lose-sleep-over-money-worries#sthash.is5MM6tH.dpuf

Expert Committee Recommendations Have Potential for Increased Consumer Protection in Ontario

Did you know that anyone in Canada, outside of the province of Quebec, can call themselves a financial planner?  Cary List, President, and CEO of the Financial Planning Standards Council and their team have been working diligently to change that.

Yesterday's Expert Committee Recommendations support a number of actions the FPSC has been calling for to better protect Canadians.  Two notable recommendations are title restrictions (who can call themselves a financial planner) and a unified set of financial planning standards, including a standard which ensure that the client's interests come before all others.

Read the full press release here: http://www.fpsc.ca/alerts-updates/2016/04/05/expert-committee-recommendations-have-potential-for-increased-consumer-protection-in-ontario

Women, money & sudden wealth management - government, industry experts and female trailblazers weigh-in on first-ever round table

In celebration of International Women's Day, government and industry experts sat down for a first-ever round table on women and personal finance for a robust discussion on the issues that face women when receiving a sizable sum of money from a divorce, inheritance, sale of a business and more.

At the table was: Jane Rooney, Financial Literacy Leader of Canada with the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada, Rose Reisman with Rose Reisman Catering, Joanne Stewart with Lerners Family Law, Robyn Graham with ETF Capital Management, Cynthia Kett with Stewart & Kett, Mary Aitken with Verity and Kelley Keehn.

For more information, please visit www.etfcm.com/womenmoney

Is the Pink Tax Making Life More Expensive For You? Interivew with Andrew Carter from CJAD Montreal Radio

What is the 'Pink Tax'?

It’s the idea that women pay more for products than men: that pink and purple razors cost more than blue and black ones. 

Last December, the department of consumer affairs in New York City evaluated the costs of 800 products at two dozen retailers... and found that the cost of women’s products were seven per cent higher than similar products for men. 

I joined Andrew Carter earlier this week to discuss the fact that it's six times more expensive to be a woman.  Listen to the Soundcloud here - http://www.cjad.com/blog/andrew-carter/2016/03/03/andrew-is-the-pink-tax-making-life-more-expensive-for-you

Your love one passed away. What do you do with their Facebook account?

Amy wrote me last week asking about something that’s been rattling in the back of many Canadians minds – what do we do with the social media accounts of our loved ones after they've passed away?

Here is her question:

Our mother passed in the fall of 2014.  She had a Facebook account and had only 1 friend who was one of my sisters.  My sister is a photographer and my Mom wanted to see all of her photos so she created a FB account with her name and email address only.  That was all the information she provide on her home page.

In order for us to delete my Mom’s FB account, FB is requesting a copy of either her birth or death certificate.  I don’t really understand this request and am quite nervous about giving them either.  I don’t have her birth certificate but I do have a death certificate.

I just want to leave her FB account in its static state but a family member wants it deleted.  Your thoughts and insight will be much appreciated on how best to protect this very personal information of our mother.

To find answers to Amy’s questions, I asked tech experts David Papp and Dr. Tom Keenan, author of Technocreep to weigh in.

David Papp answers:

Facebook came out with their “legacy contact” setting just last year (February of 2015) allowing users to choose who can manage their accounts once they’ve passed away. Previously the profiles were turned into memorial pages.

Unfortunately if this legacy contact was not completed by the account holder, then you need to go through different channels to gain access. Here is the special request form for Deceased Person’s Account:

https://www.facebook.com/help/contact/228813257197480

Facebook needs to certify that you are indeed who you say you are. It would be horrible if just anyone could suddenly get access to another person's account or cause it to be wiped out. In order to certify, they would like a copy of a number of possible documents such as death certificate, birth certificate or proof of authority.  This is good due diligence and should be a reassurance and not a concern.

This is very similar to any other organization. Banks, associations, and government all need proof. An executor has a lot of work to find and deal with everything to do on someone’s estate. This is becoming increasingly more complicated with the online virtual aspect thrown into the mix.

Dr. Keenan answers:

Facebook likes the death certificate because it is definitive proof of death and they want to prevent pranksters from declaring random people dead.  I have no reason to suspect that they do anything nefarious with it (I mean, you never really know) but out of an abundance of caution I would probably obscure parts of it (like a serial number, cause of death if shown) showing just the name and date of death.  However, an even better idea is to provide a link to a published obituary which they will also accept.

As for what to do about it the choices are pretty much;

• a) leave it alone.  Not a great idea because it could get hacked and people might start getting messages from the dead.   
• b) "memorialize it" which is what FB recommends.  See:   https://www.facebook.com/help/contact/1605213279719667    this of course keeps the account from doing things like sending friend requests, but does keep the content (e.g. pictures) online 
• c) Delete it.  instructions are at https://www.facebook.com/help/103897939701143

 

It sounds like this is pretty moot if there was only 1 friend but you're right that sending a company in California a document like a death certificate  raises hairs on the back of my neck so I'd recommend the link to the published obituary option as that is public record and searchable.

For more information on David Papp please visit davidpapp.com and Dr. Thomas Keenan at www.technocreep.com.

Answering your financial questions with Ryan Jespersen - 630 CHED Radio

It was my absolute pleasure to be in studio with Ryan Jesperson of 630 CHED radio yesterday.  And we spent the top hour of the show answering your texts and calls on a variety of financial questions.

No surprise that inquiries on credit topped the list - how do you check it, does it hurt your score to pull your report, what's the score range and how do you know if your score is a good one?

Here's the link for the entire segment in case you missed it - https://soundcloud.com/630ched/dec-10-jespersen-hr1-kelley-keehn-finance-expert